Jake Read online

  “Can I ask what happened to Kiki’s dad?” Jake took a step closer. She could feel the warmth emanating from his body and she longed to snuggle up to him.

  “You can.” Lana paused. She had planned to keep her distance from Jake and yet here she was willing to spill her entire sordid little life story. “He was my boss. There was an instant attraction between us. What I didn’t realize was that I was just fulfilling his midlife crisis and as soon as the reality of what our affair would cost him dawned on him, he would go running back to his wife.”

  “Wow.” Jake’s air left his lungs as if someone had thumped him in the gut. “That’s brutal.”

  “I was young and naive. By the time I found out I was pregnant, not only was it all over, but the bastard had fired me and gotten a restraining order. He told his wife I had pursued him ruthlessly and that nothing had ever happened between us.” It was as if it had happened to another person or in another lifetime. But the pain and anger were still there if she opened herself up to it.

  “That’s terrible. What did you do?” Jake asked in shock.

  “I said fuck him and raised Kiki alone. Well, alone aside from my parents who were there with me every step of the way.” She placed her hand on her heart and sobbed loudly. Jake slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “Do you know what the worst thing is?”

  “No.” His voice hitched with emotion.

  “The worst thing is the guilt. The guilt of knowing that Kiki would never know the same love and security I felt growing up with my mom and my dad. And it was all my fault because I was stupid.” She wiped an angry tear from her cheek.

  “We all do stupid things, Lana. All of us.” He dropped a kiss on her head. “It’s how you pick yourself up and carry on afterward that is the real test.”

  Lana sniffed loudly. “That’s the thing, isn’t it? My daughter is missing, and I have no idea where she is or who the father of her child is.” She pulled away from him as her heart ached with sorrow and guilt. “What if that is my fault, too? What if all this only happened because of me? Is history repeating itself?”

  His eyes flickered with her shared pain. “You can’t take responsibility for other people like that. Kiki is a grown woman.”

  “Says the person who is caught in a web of guilt over Milly’s mom.” Lana didn’t mean the words to come out unkindly. “We both have something to learn here, don’t we?”

  He took a jagged breath. “We do.” He nodded toward the children. “We’re doing the best we can by their children. We should give ourselves some credit for that at least.”

  “We should. And maybe after this meeting tomorrow I might have some way to help my editor. Maybe if I can help save one girl, then I can let Kiki go just a little.” She straightened up and raised her chin. “But I can never stop looking for her.”

  “I would never expect you to.” He half-turned to look at her. “And my offer still stands. Whatever you need, if it’s in my power to give it to you, then it’s yours.”

  Lana didn’t answer, she didn’t trust herself not to break down and sob like a baby as she watched Tad and Heather walk back to the house with three children at their heels. Lana had missed seeing the ponies, but she had enjoyed spending time alone with Jake. He was interesting. And interested.

  He gave her strength and courage. She no longer felt alone. Not that she’d been alone before. Her father was the most supportive person in the world. But there were things she kept from him, details about lost girls she couldn’t share with him. His heart was already broken enough.

  “Thank you.” She nodded and then walked away from Jake heading toward the children. “How were the ponies?”

  “Great!” Ursula jumped up in the air in excitement. “I’m going to ride Nimble tomorrow and Bella is going to ride Rocky.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll watch over her,” Tad promised as he walked hand in hand with Heather.

  “He takes his parental responsibilities very seriously,” Josephine added, placing a hand on her man’s chest. “Sula will be safe with him.”

  “Thank you both so much. Come here, baby, I need a cuddle.” She chased after Ursula who giggled joyfully. The sound broke Lana’s heart. She hadn’t noticed the lack of joy in her granddaughter lately, but here where it was magnified times a thousand, it was obvious.

  No matter what happened tomorrow, the family needed a life change. Lana had been so caught up in chasing around trying to locate Kiki that she’d sacrificed Ursula’s happiness. And her own.

  “I love it here,” Ursula said as Lana scooped her up in her arms and held her tight.

  “So do I.” Lana kissed Ursula on the cheek. “It’s good to hear you laugh.”

  Ursula threaded her arms around Lana’s neck and whispered, “Being here makes me happy. It makes me forget.”

  “I’m sorry, Sula. I’m sorry I haven’t spent more time on things that make you happy.” Lana brushed her granddaughter’s hair off her shoulder.

  “That’s okay. You’ve been busy looking for Mommy.” She sighed and clung tighter to Lana. “I do love ponies.”

  “I know you do.” Lana swung Ursula around, so the small child was on her nana’s back. “What about a piggyback ride?”

  Ursula giggled as Lana jogged around the others herding them like a sheepdog. “I like piggyback rides, too.”

  “Tad, lift me up, please.” Bella ran to Tad and he lifted her onto his back.

  “Shall we race?” Tad asked.

  “What about me?” Zack asked, looking at his mom.

  “Sure.” Although Heather didn’t sound too sure since Zack was the oldest child and a lot bigger than the girls.

  “Hey, am I going to get left out?” Jake asked as he ran forward and grabbed hold of Zack. The young boy’s eyes widened in surprise as Jake swung him effortlessly into the air so that he landed on Jake’s shoulders. “Ready?”

  “I was born ready!” Zack yelled as they ran toward the house behind the others.

  “I should have asked for a head start,” Lana called out breathlessly as Max passed her by.

  “It’s all about the taking part, not the winning,” Ursula said in her ear as Lana huffed and puffed along, her legs aching as they neared the house.

  “Is that what your grandpa told you?” Lana asked as she staggered forward through the small gate leading into the back yard.

  “Yes. And Grandpa is old enough to know best.” Ursula gripped tightly around Lana’s neck as she plodded on.

  “Hey, slowpokes.” Jake was jogging effortlessly along behind her.

  “You can pass if you want.” Lana moved to one side so they could go past.

  “No, it’s okay. Zack is learning you don’t have to come first,” Jake replied.

  “Yes, we do,” Zack insisted. “If Bella wins, we’re never going to hear the end of it.”

  “It’s all about enjoying the journey,” Jake said much to Zack’s torment. However, the young boy rolled his eyes and grinned at Ursula.

  “Grownups!” Zack shook his head as Ursula laughed.

  “They always think they know what’s best.” Ursula patted Lana on the head. “I love you, Nana.”

  “I love you, too, but I can’t go any faster.” Lana slowed to a walk as her energy levels dipped.

  “Come on, Sula.” Jake held out his right arm while supporting Zack with his left arm. “There’s room for two.”

  Ursula leaned over and caught hold of Jake’s arm. Lana grabbed hold of her waist and gave her a boost onto Jake’s broad back as Zack swung his lithe body to one side to make room for Ursula.

  Lana slowed to a walk as Jake ran on with the children. Her breath was coming in gasps and her heart thudded in her chest, she hadn’t run like that for years.

  “Kids might keep you young, but they sure do tire you out, don’t they?” Heather asked as she caught up with Lana.

  “And you have two of them!” Lana laughed breathlessly. “It’s worth it, though, to hear the sound of them lau
ghing.”

  “It is,” Heather agreed. “Sula had fun with the ponies. She’s a great kid.”

  “Thanks.” Lana watched Jake as he sprinted to catch up with Max. “Your kids have great role models. Jake, Max and Tad have a very strong sibling relationship.”

  “They do. They’ve had to be there for each other after their parents died. It’s sad that something so tragic brought them together.” Heather giggled as Jake reached out for Max and pulled him back so that he could get ahead. “They don’t play fair.”

  “Life isn’t fair so maybe that’s a good lesson for the children to learn, too.” She glanced sideways at Heather. “Sorry, that’s very cynical of me.”

  “No, you’re right. I wish we could shield the children from real life, but they have to learn to cope with it.” The sound of children laughing and calling out to each other reached the two women. “Sometimes I think Sula has experienced more real life than any child should ever have to experience.”

  “She’s strong and she’s got an amazing role model in her nana. She speaks about you with such love and respect. You are her hero.” Heather touched Lana on the arm. “You are doing an amazing job and from what I’ve seen in the last couple of hours, she is coping well.”

  “Thanks. I just wish her mom was here to be the hero.” Lana brushed her fingers across her cheeks. “I’m going to blub again. There must be something in the mountain air. I haven’t cried this much for months.”

  “Perhaps it’s because there’s some distance between you and home. It gives you a new perspective. When I moved here with the crazy idea of opening the craft barn, it was like my old life was a past life. It was still there. I mourned for my marriage and the loss of the life I imagined I wanted.” She shrugged. “And then I met Tad.”

  “How long have you two known each other? He’s so great with your kids.” Lana and Heather were halfway across the back yard. Everyone else had gone inside.

  “It feels as if we’ve known each other forever.” Heather’s face lit up with love and Lana’s heart ached. She thought she loved Kiki’s father but soon after he ditched her, she realized it was a crush. She’d been in love with the idea of love, not with the man himself. Since then she’d never allowed another man into her heart. Now it was too late. She was too old, and life was too complicated. “It was a whirlwind romance.”

  “And you weren’t worried about the children not liking Tad?” Lana asked in surprise.

  “Goodness, no. He loves them so much. He’d do anything for them. More than their own father I’m sad to say.” Heather paused. “No, I’m not sad to say it. Meeting Tad was the best thing to ever happen to me aside from giving birth to my children.”

  “That gives me hope.” Lana swung her head around to face Heather. “Not for me, but for Kiki. If I ever find her. It means there might be a man out there who will love her and Ursula.”

  “Can I give you a piece of advice?” Heather asked gently as they paused outside the kitchen door. From inside the house the sound of people talking and the children playing reached them.

  “Sure.” Lana fixed Heather with her gaze. People were always trying to give her advice like never give up, you will find her, but doubt had crept into Lana’s heart.

  “Don’t give up on you. Don’t think you are too old for love. Sometimes it comes from the most surprising places.” A brief smile crossed her lips. “This is going to sound cheesy, but maybe there was a reason you stopped at the side of the road to help me today. Don’t be afraid.”

  Lana opened her mouth to protest that she was never afraid, but that wouldn’t be true. She was afraid every time she looked at Jake Harrison. Afraid she would lose herself to him and forget all about the hunt for her daughter.

  She couldn’t let that happen. For all their sakes.

  Chapter Eleven – Jake

  “Thanks, Tad.” Jake patted his brother on the shoulder affectionately as he helped clear the table. “Dinner was fantastic.”

  “You are more than welcome.” He cracked a grin. “And anyway, it’s in all our interests to get you married off to the right woman, so we don’t have to feel bad for you any longer.”

  “She’s like one of the family already,” Josephine said over his shoulder as she switched on the faucet and ran hot water into the sink.

  “I can only hope,” Jake replied.

  “She fits right in with the rest of us. And so does Sula.” Josephine gave a whimsical sigh. “Now, if we could match Donald up with a nice golden oldie, we will all live happily ever after.”

  Tad chuckled. “You should hone your skills as a matchmaker and go into Bear Creek with Donald and find him a woman.”

  “Don’t tempt me.” Josephine winked at her brother-in-law. “We’re all the same now, we just want everyone else to be happy and experience the same feelings we do.”

  “Love,” Jake said as he cast a glance toward Lana who was talking with Max and Heather. “Why isn’t Max doing the dishes since you cooked dinner?”

  “Because he won our bet.” Tad glanced sideways at Josephine as she chuckled.

  “Bet?” Jake asked, then his eyes widened. “You made bets about me finding my mate?”

  “We did.” Tad held his hands up as if in surrender and waved the clean dish towel as if it were a white flag. “In our defense we were drunk.”

  “On a bottle of your expensive wine,” Josephine whispered to Jake.

  “Whose side are you on?” Tad asked. “This involves your mate.”

  “And I told my mate it was a stupid bet. Jake’s happiness should not be a gambling matter.” She glanced at Jake. “Anyway, I’m glad Max won because he bet Jake would find his mate before Milly turned three. And he has.”

  Jake took the dry dishes from Tad and put them away in the cupboard and as he did, he watched his mate as she laughed with Max and Heather. Josephine was right, Lana and her family fit in with the rest of his family perfectly. “I’d probably be angry if I’d found out before I met my mate. As it is…I’m going to let the bet slide.” Jake winked at Josephine. “But you’re going to have to pay me for the wine.”

  Josephine snorted as she laughed at Tad’s expression. “Sorry. I agree. The loser should pick up the tab, too.”

  “This is a life lesson. I shouldn’t bet,” Tad complained but then he grinned widely. “Hey, Jake. What are you doing standing here talking to us? You should be over there talking to your mate. Or did you forget she’s only in town for a couple of days? That doesn’t give you much time to convince her to stay, you know?”

  “I know.” Jake’s brow creased. “But I don’t want to overwhelm her.”

  “Go talk to her, get to know her.” Tad pushed his brother toward the table. “Do it or regret it.”

  Jake shoved his shoulder backward, shrugging Tad off. But his brother had a point, he didn’t have a lot of time to convince Lana to stay. If she walked out of his life and out of Bear Creek, he’d be forced to follow her wherever she went. And turning up on her doorstep would be more than overwhelming, it would be downright disturbing.

  “Just be yourself,” Josephine told him. “Take her for a moonlight walk or something. Be romantic.”

  “Be spontaneous,” Tad added.

  But most of all, be yourself, his bear said.

  I don’t think I can be all three, Jake told his bear.

  “Go.” Tad ushered him away. “Before Max spills the beans and tells her you are her mate.”

  “He wouldn’t,” Josephine objected.

  “You don’t know the second half of the bet,” Tad said quietly.

  “What is the second half of the bet?” Jake asked, but Tad pretended to lock his lips and throw away the key.

  “What are you, seven-year-olds?” Josephine asked.

  “I blame all the kids, it’s like we’re getting younger by the day.” Tad turned back to drying the dishes Josephine had washed and placed on the drainer, leaving Jake hovering.

  Go, his bear mentally prodded him. It’
s unlike you to hold back.

  This is the most important thing I’ve ever done in my life and it’s personal. It’s as if my entire life has led up to this day. This moment.

  “Jake, Lana was just asking about the sleeping arrangements,” Heather said as Jake approached the table.

  “We should get an early night. I think we’re all tired out.” Lana looked at her dad with concern.

  “Sure. I thought you could sleep in…”

  My bed, his bear interjected helpfully.

  “Max’s old room and Donald could sleep in Tad’s old room.” Jake looked across the room to where Bella, Zack, and Ursula were playing with Milly. “And since Josephine offered for Milly to sleep over at Josephine and Max’s tonight, Ursula can sleep in her room.” Jake recalled his earlier plans of dinner alone with Milly. How quickly life had changed.

  “You have it all planned.” Max got up from the table. “Shall I help with the luggage?”

  “Oh, we can manage,” Lana insisted as she drained her wine glass before she pushed her chair back and stood up. “Thank you so much for letting us stay. When I go into town tomorrow, I’ll ask around to see if there is a hotel or room of some kind we can stay in.”

  “No!” Jake said quickly, as if the timer in his head counting down the hours and minutes, in which he had to convince Lana she was supposed to stay here with him forever, had suddenly begun spinning down toward zero at a great velocity.

  Heather’s eyes widened but she recovered herself and said, “What Jake means is the only rooms available wouldn’t be great if there were any at all. So why don’t you just stay here? Sula is happy. You could even go out and explore the Bear Creek nightlife tomorrow night and we can babysit for you.”

  “I’d like to take you to dinner,” Jake stuttered.

  Heather and Max fell silent and looked toward the children as if holding their breaths, waiting for Lana to answer. Being the last brother to find a mate truly sucked. Would he be the one failure out of his three brothers? After succeeding in business, was his world about to come crashing down around him?