Her Scars to Bear: BBW Bear Shifter Dating Agency Romance (Fated and Mated Book 1) Read online

  Jay was just as keen to find his mate has Tad was; he just wasn’t very open at admitting it.

  There were ten new profiles, which gave Tad a moment of hope, until he realized that eight of those were lonely men like him, looking for a woman. He scrolled over to the two female profiles and clicked on the first one. It pulled up the picture of a pretty redhead, but she had no effect on him, and although he struggled to believe it, his sister had told him that if he did find his mate, he would know.

  Using the back button, he clicked on the second profile. Disappointment again: she wasn’t the one for him.

  He clicked the back button, and then sat staring at the screen while he drank the rest of his coffee. His eyes grew heavy and he could feel himself dozing off, and he knew he should just go to bed. For once, the caffeine had not kicked in and woken him up.

  Placing his mug down on the table next to the computer, he forced himself to stand up, and as he did, there was a ping. A new profile. He clicked to open it.

  Tad sat back down again quickly, as if someone had punched him in the gut and taken the air from his lungs. There she was, his mate, or was he just delirious from the cold and tiredness that swept through his body?

  But then his bear began to stir, lifting his head, sniffing the air and pacing around his mind. This was it, this was real. She was his mate. He was surprised she hadn’t seen his profile picture and recognized who he was, but that was not going to put him off contacting her.

  Feeling as if he was about to make a fool of himself, he ignored the nagging doubt in his head, and began to message her.

  Chapter Three – Viv

  The snow was coming down hard, making it difficult for her to see. Her bear shook her head, but it was of little use, the flakes immediately settled again. Not that she needed to see, she knew every pathway, every rock on this mountain. She had played here since she was a girl, since she was a young cub.

  Reaching the trees, the branches above her head gave her some respite from the snow, and she picked up speed. Weaving in and out of them, she plowed through drifts of snow, and flicked it up in the air, ignoring the cold on her nose. After she had traveled another couple of miles, her legs began to ache from dragging through the soft powdery snow, and she knew that she should head back home, that her mother would be worried about her.

  Instantly, at that thought, her fear came back to her. She hated that even in her bear form, she did not feel safe. Although she knew full well that Rhys wouldn’t stand a chance against her bear. But that was the extent to which he had hurt her: he had robbed her of her self-confidence, more than she allowed her mother and father to know.

  Her bear sat down, ignoring the snow as it gathered on her coat; it was as if they were shutting down, trying to force the memories from her head. Viv made herself get up, made her bear stand on four feet, and shook the snow from her coat. She could not let this happen again. She had fought too hard to get herself back together after what had happened, and there was no way she was going to let that man ruin her life again.

  Turning towards home, she ran as fast as she could, not through fear, but because it pushed all memories from her head. As she weaved in and out of the trees, all she had to think about was where her feet landed, and how she had to move her body to maintain her balance, and avoid hitting a tree.

  Out from under the trees, she ran towards home, galloping headlong down the mountain slopes. At least, with the snow coming down in a blanket around her, she could stay in her bear form longer than she normally would. There was no way she could enter the village as a bear; that would be too risky. In this weather, she could get within a few hundred feet and not be seen, which was great, because she didn’t want to have to walk too far on two legs when four were so much easier.

  Reaching the place where she had left her snowshoes, she quickly changed into her human form, and pulled them on. Then she trudged towards home, wondering if the snow was ever going to stop. As a child, she had loved the white fluffy flakes, but as she reached the first houses of Bear Valley, they made her wary. The snow muted her senses, and she had become dependent on those senses to warn her of danger. To warn her about Rhys.

  “There you are!” her mom said eagerly, as soon as she had walked into the house.

  “The snow is coming down really heavy.” She hoped her mom hadn’t been sitting here worried the whole time she was out.

  “I think you have a message.”

  Viv frowned at her mom. “A message?”

  “Yes, just after you’d gone, the computer pinged. That means there’s a message, right?”

  “It might,” she said and hurried over to the computer, peeling her wet coat off as she went. Her mom took it out of her hands and went to hang it up to dry, while Viv sat down and nervously clicked to open the message.

  It was from a man, someone called Tad. She read it quickly. It was very brief, just saying that he thought that they were a perfect match. She wondered if that was some kind of code, because even though she had upgraded so that the other shifters could tell what she was, he hadn’t expressly said he was a shifter.

  She guessed that it was better to be safe than to sound like a madman by saying that you were a bear. Or something else. She hadn’t thought about that; he could be any kind of shifter.

  “So?” her mom asked, coming to stand behind her. Viv could feel her excitement, and she wished that was how she felt, but instead she just felt incredibly nervous. “I read his message.”

  “And?” her mom asked. “What does he look like?”

  “Let’s have a look, shall we?” Viv said, hoping that when she looked at his profile picture it would all snap into place. At the moment, she was thinking this was a false alarm. Because for Viv, there was no sense that he was her mate.

  “Oh my, he looks all right, doesn’t he?” her mom said.

  “Mom!” she exclaimed, shaking her head. There was nothing worse than your mom thinking your potential mate was hot. But as she looked at him, she realized it didn’t matter if her mom thought he was hot or not, because he wasn’t the one for her.

  “Are you going to message him back?” her mom asked.

  “No.” Viv got up from the computer and went to the kitchen. “It’s not him.”

  “He’s a shifter, isn’t he?” Her mom peered closer to the screen. “He's got one of those little symbols.”

  “I guess some ordinary people slip through.” She tried to hide her disappointment. After all, her profile had only been on there for an hour or two; it wasn’t like she had expected something to happen so quickly. But seeing the message had made her think that her luck was finally changing.

  “So that’s it?” her mom said.

  “I thought you’d be happy,” Viv said, turning to face her mom. “I didn’t think you wanted me to meet anybody.”

  Viv felt the familiar bubble of emotion, coming up from the pit of her stomach, about to erupt. Her mom rushed forward and held her daughter in her arms, rubbing her back just as she always did when she was upset. Viv rested her head on her mom’s shoulder and released the tears that she no longer knew how to hold back.

  “Of course, I’m not happy. It would mean the world to me if you found your mate. I only questioned the site because I was worried about you. Worried about somebody hurting you again. If there was any possible way I could find your mate for you, I would.”

  “I know, it’s just ... I feel so pathetic. You know. I should be happy, but I don’t seem to know how anymore.”

  “It’s going to take time. Now you go and change into your PJs and I’ll make us some hot chocolate. Then we’ll sit down and watch a movie. Okay? Your dad is not going to be home for another couple of hours, so we can watch whatever you want.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Mom. That would be lovely, as long as we don’t watch a chick flick. I’m not in the mood for romance.”

  “You will be one day, my beautiful daughter.” Her mom stroked her cheek, and Viv felt the tears welling again. So sh
e took a step back and turned away, heading upstairs.

  She went to her room, grabbed her pajamas, and began to undress. This was the worst time for her, seeing her naked body, seeing the scar that went from her collarbone down to the top of her left breast. It was the reason she would never date again; the reason she knew that the only man who could ever want her was her mate.

  Because he had no choice, she thought. However, part of her found it difficult to believe any man would want her, want to make love to her, when this horrible scar, still red and angry, adorned her body.

  Chapter Four – Tad

  He didn’t think he’d be able to sleep. After messaging his mate on the dating site, he had sat waiting for over an hour for a reply. But none came. Forcing himself to get up, he had gone for a shower and then heated up some shepherd’s pie he had found in the fridge. He was sure it was his brother’s dinner, but he was too tired to care.

  Tad had eaten it, not really tasting it, while he sat and stared at the computer screen. Occasionally, he clicked refresh just to check it was all working correctly, but nothing happened, no message.

  He tried to tell himself she was probably busy, it’s not as if she would be sat in front of the computer all night. That made him smile. No, she probably wasn’t as sad as he was; she probably had a life outside of work.

  Finishing his meal, he went and put the plate in the sink, knowing he should wash it up, but feeling too tired. He needed to sleep. So he went to the bathroom, cleaned his teeth, and then went to bed, easing his tired bones down onto the mattress. It was bliss, the first time in four nights he’d slept in a bed.

  ***

  “Come on, Tad, it’s time to get up.”

  Tad opened one eye and looked up at the smiling face of his brother, Jay, and groaned. “Can’t you just let me sleep?”

  “I have let you sleep, it’s now midday. I thought you were going to hibernation you’ve been in bed so long.” Jay pulled back and stood up.

  “Midday?” Tad sat up and stretched. Instead of aching, his bones and muscles were just stiff.

  “Yes, look, I’ve made you some coffee. I think you ought to get up and come and drink it in the kitchen. It won’t do you any good lying here in bed all day.”

  “Since when did you sound like my mother?”

  “Speaking of Mom, she’s expecting us over for lunch. So you had better get a move on.”

  “Okay. I’ll just grab some clothes and I’ll be right with you.”

  The thought of his mother’s cooking was enough to get him out of bed and moving. He went to the kitchen and drank two cups of coffee before he started feeling anything like awake.

  “What’s it been like while I was out on the mountain?” Tad asked, always interested in an update to avoid any unnecessary surprises.

  “Quiet. It seems, for once, the snow has been coming down so hard it’s actually put people off going and risking their lives on the mountain. Surprising, since you know how people think it’ll be fun to go out in the cold snow.”

  “Now you sound like everybody’s mother. You know the attraction of the mountain as well as I do.” It was why they both lived in Grizzly Hollows their whole lives, and had spent their childhood roaming the lower slopes and higher peaks.

  “Yes, I do. But when we go out there, we are prepared, aren’t we?” Jay grabbed his jacket. “Come on, let’s go. I’m starving.”

  Tad followed his brother out, grabbing his coat. Once they were outside, they both put on their snowshoes. Their parents didn’t live too far away, and it wouldn’t take long to walk over there.

  He took in a deep breath of the piercing cold air. “The snow’s actually stopped.”

  “Yes, it has. For now. The forecast said we’re due another heavy storm later. So let’s go fill up on Mom’s cooking, because we might need all our energy.”

  Jay was right. It wasn’t just people on the mountain that needed rescuing. There was also trouble sometimes, both in the town and in the houses dotted around the mountainside. It was their responsibility to keep everybody safe, whether they were tourists, climbers, or just their friends. It made no difference; it was their job.

  “I think she’s cooking your favorite,” Jay said.

  “What do you mean? It’s your favorite too.” Tad nudged his brother.

  “Come on, you know I like to play the favoritism card.”

  “I’ll tell you who the favorite will be,” Tad said. “It’s the one who gets his mate first.”

  “If that ever happens. You’ve been on that dating site for two weeks, and your mate hasn’t turned up yet.”

  “Exactly. I’ve been on it two weeks. And it’s new, so it’s going to take a while.” Tad wasn’t sure he wanted to share his news with Jay; he was beginning to feel rejected. When he was drinking his coffee, he had checked for messages, but so far, nothing.

  “I know.” Jay blew hot air out of his mouth, watching it dissipate in the cold air. “It just gets lonely sometimes, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes, it does.” They had nearly reached their parents’ house. Tad hated the melancholy mood that had settled on both of them, so he made his admission. “I saw my mate on the website last night.”

  “What?” Jay stopped, standing in the middle of the road with his mouth open. “Why aren’t you over there meeting her? I mean wherever she is, surely you should be going there. Don’t let this snow stop you. I can hold the fort.”

  “I would, but she hasn’t answered.”

  “Can’t you find her address?” Jay asked.

  “No. It doesn’t work like that.” Tad only wished it did. Because Jay was right, if she had answered his message, he would be on his way there now instead of going to his parents’ house for lunch.

  He liked his food, but he wanted his mate so much more.

  They had reached the front porch of their parents’ house. “Maybe she doesn’t like the look of me.”

  He had his hand on the doorknob, turning it, when Jay said, “Listen, you go on in. I have an errand to run. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  And with that his brother took off up the road, running awkwardly in his snowshoes. Tad shook his head at the sight of him. “Anyone would think he was a professional.”

  Chapter Five – Viv

  Despite her reservations, Viv was enjoying working in the store for the afternoon. Maybe it was because she had spent the morning trying to find things to do, and when the snow was piling up outside, the house soon became like a prison.

  So here she was, putting stock on the shelves and serving any customers who needed her help.

  In reality, this had largely meant a big catching-up session with all the people from Bear Valley. Surprisingly, this had given her a warm and fuzzy feeling. It truly had felt as if she had come home. As the day wore on, she found herself dwelling less and less on what she had given up, and more and more on what she’d been missing.

  “You will come along to the town hall? Won’t you?” Mrs. Harold said, after Viv had helped reach her favorite cookies down from the top shelf.

  “I’m not sure,” Viv said, knowing it was only half the truth. Working in the store was one thing, but going along to a barn dance was way out of her comfort zone right now. “Now, are you sure you can manage all the shopping?”

  Mrs. Harold was old and frail, and Viv was surprised to see her out in such weather. “I’ll be just fine, thank you, dear.” Viv looked at the big basket of food in Mrs. Harold’s hands and wondered if that was true. Walking towards the counter, she decided that she would ask if it was all right for her to carry Mrs. Harold’s shopping home.

  When she reached the counter, she heard the store door open, and her mom came in, buffeted by the icy wind. Viv wondered what had happened, maybe there had been a stampede of reindeer through the village or something, because her mom looked incredibly excited.

  “What are you doing here? Or have you come to check up on me?” Viv asked.

  “Oh no, nothing like that. But I
have come to give you some news. You had another message.”

  Viv frowned trying to work out what her mom was talking about. “A message about what?” Viv asked.

  “About the… You know?” her mom said lowering her voice. Mrs. Humphries was serving somebody and wasn’t taking any notice of them, so Viv said, “Just tell me.” And the old familiar feeling of unease covered her.

  “On the site,” her mom whispered.

  “I already told you that guy wasn’t my mate.”

  “I know what you told me. And I know why it didn’t make sense, him knowing you were his mate, but you not reciprocating the feeling.” Her mom was sounding rather cryptic, and Viv found her temper becoming a little short.

  “So are you going to tell me?” she asked sharply.

  Her mom’s face dropped and Viv instantly felt guilty when she said, “I’m sorry, I should have waited until you got home. I thought you’d want to know.”

  “Know what, Mom? I’m sorry for being so sharp with you. But I’d kind of forgotten all about everything while I was working,” she said.

  “I hadn’t noticed you were working,” Mrs. Humphries said to Viv as she came over and listened in to the conversation. “I hope this is some nice gossip.”

  “No. No. I can leave it until later.” Her mom took a step towards the door. Viv felt awful, so she grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

  “Come on, Mom, tell me what it is, I don’t mind Mrs. Humphries hearing.” She did, really; she knew that if Mrs. Humphries heard anything even remotely interesting, it would be all round the village in no time. But she really did want to make it up to her mom.

  “Well, you see the picture, on the profile, wasn’t his picture.” Her mom beamed happily.