Her Choice To Bear: BBW Bear Shifter Dating Agency Romance (Fated and Mated Book 2) Read online

  “Yes. When he came back, he saw the picture of his mate. Not you,” he added hastily. “When he told me, I quickly swapped them back, but you got caught in the middle of it. I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”

  “Neither am I,” she agreed.

  He let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank goodness you see it that way. I was worried you might have disowned me. It was a stupid thing to do.”

  “We all do stupid things. And I still might disown you,” she said shocked at her forward behavior, but that was something about him that gave her confidence.

  He chuckled, and sounded more at ease. “I deserved that.”

  “So where do you live?” she asked, hoping that if they talked about normal things she might feel more grounded, instead as though she was about to sail off into the atmosphere on a cloud of longing.

  “In Grizzly Hollows. A small town in the mountains.”

  “I’ve heard of it. You get a lot of snow.”

  “Lots. Although the thaw is just setting into after the mother of all snowstorms.” He sounded as if he liked the place, and immediately Mae saw the problem with meeting someone on a website. They didn’t live in the same town, and had completely different lives. “You?”

  “Marillo Marsh. About a hundred miles away from the mountains.”

  “A hundred miles is nothing. At least we are on the same continent. Because that would be awkward.”

  “It would,” she agreed.

  “When can we meet?” he asked, and she understood they had been dancing around this question with the niceties and small talk, because it didn’t matter how far apart they lived, they had to see each other. Soon.

  Already her bear was waking up and becoming demanding in a way Mae had never had to cope with before. If it were up to her, they would be in the car right now, heading for Grizzly Hollows.

  “When?”

  “As soon as possible,” he said, struggling to hide the eagerness from his voice.

  “So the next question is where?” Mae was mentally going through her schedule for the next few days, most of which was wrapped up with the trip to the beach she had organized with her Gran. There was no way she could cancel on them, not when they had been looking forward to it so much. “I’m going to find it difficult to get away from here for a few days.”

  “Same here.” She heard him sigh deeply. “My brother just found his mate, but there was an accident and she got hurt, so he’s playing nursemaid.”

  “What we do?” She tried to keep the disappointment from her voice. However, in reality she just wanted to go to wherever he was and meet him, and her bear agreed.

  “I suppose we will just have to talk to each other on the phone, and maybe Skype. Seeing you, and not being able to touch you, is going to be pretty difficult.” He laughed, but not with any humor. “Now, that does sound weird since we’ve not even met yet.”

  “I know what you mean.” She was grateful that he felt the same way as her. This was all so new to Mae that she wondered if she was acting like a lovesick teenager, but this is how her parents had described their feelings. Particularly her dad, who had told her often of how, once he had seen her mother, nothing in the world seem to matter except being with her.

  Mae couldn’t just drop everything here, though; her Gran had done so much for her, had raised her when there was no one else. There was no way Mae could simply abandon her and run off to Grizzly Hollows. That meant they had to wait. They were both grown adults, they could do this, they could wait a few days. “Maybe I could drive over next weekend?”

  “Next weekend,” he said, sounding so disappointed it squeezed her heart. She hated the idea of him being in pain in any way. “I guess I can wait that long.”

  Mae wasn’t sure that she could, but she couldn’t see any other way around it. If he couldn’t leave Grizzly Hollows, and she couldn’t leave her Gran, that left them a hundred miles apart. “I guess I can too.”

  A silence settled over them as they both processed the reality that even though they had found their bonded mate, they were still out of reach. She couldn’t think of anything to say to him, other than to try to persuade him to come to see her, but that wouldn’t be fair. He had a job to do, an important job, and she didn’t want to be responsible for putting other people’s lives at risk just for the sake of her happiness.

  The bear inside of her had other ideas as she prowled up and down the edges of Mae’s mind, looking for a way to escape. If her bear had her way, they would be running there now, on four paws, not even caring who saw them. Which was not very practical when they lived in a town miles away from any wild bears. She wouldn’t have got past the end of the street without being chased, and hunted down.

  “Can I call you again tomorrow?” he asked.

  “Yes. Yes, of course you can.” She didn’t want him to end the call, she wanted to hear his voice, but she also knew that this was like torture to both of them.

  “And I am sorry once again for the mix up with the profile.”

  “I’m not. At least we’ve found each other; we could just call it fate.”

  He chuckled down the phone. “It’s about time fate gave me a helping hand.” There was something in his voice that made her think there was a sadness to him. She longed to know what it was, but she wanted to ask in person, so that she could wrap her arms around him and comfort him if she needed to.

  “Have a good evening, Jay. I’m going to go and tell my gran what happened.”

  “Sweet dreams, Mae. I know I’ll have sweet dreams full of images of you.”

  Mae smiled to herself. He hadn’t met her yet, hadn’t seen her generous curves, or her voluptuous breasts. Maybe it was a good thing he would love her no matter what she looked like.

  “Goodbye, Jay.” She ended the call and stood for several moments with his voice echoing around her head, although it was nearly drowned out by the sound of her bear roaring in protest.

  Hush now, she said and then went to find her gran.

  She was still watching TV when Mae sat down in the seat opposite her. Looking up, her gran could see there was something bothering her. Immediately she muted the television and looked at Mae, asking, “What’s the matter? Is it bad news?”

  “Yes and no,” Mae said. “I found my mate.”

  “I’m guessing that’s the good news,” Gran said, placing a hand on top of Mae’s and giving it a comforting squeeze. “So why don’t you tell me the bad news and we can deal with it together?”

  “It’s not really that bad. He sounds really nice, his name is Jay, and he put his picture on his brother’s profile just to test the site out.”

  “And…” Gran said encouragingly.

  “And he wants to meet, except he lives a hundred miles away up in the mountains, a town called Grizzly Hollows.”

  “That’s not too far away at all.”

  “I know. It’s only that he’s a ranger and he can’t leave at the moment.”

  “Then you go there. This is the 21st century. You don’t have to wait for a man to come chasing after you.”

  Mae laughed despite herself. “That’s not the point, Gran. The point is that he’s busy in the mountains and I’m busy here with you. I can’t let you and Joan and Katie down; we’re off to the beach, remember?”

  Gran’s face lit up, her eyes sparkling with humor. “You leave it with me. Maybe we don’t need a trip to the beach, maybe we need a trip to the mountains.”

  “I’m not too sure about that,” Mae said, but if it meant her seeing Jay, if it meant her meeting her mate, she was sure she could survive a trip to the mountains with three old ladies. But whether Grizzly Hollows would ever be the same again remained to be seen.

  Chapter Four – Jay

  He sat in the chair, gazing at the fire, his beer forgotten. His mind was too wrapped up in trying to work out exactly how he could get to see Mae. He didn’t think there was any way he could keep away from her for a week. The awareness that he had found his mate was lik
e a burning flame in his brain, igniting his nerve endings, until it was all he could think of. He began to doubt whether he would be of much use out on the mountain if anybody needed his help, because his concentration was lacking any focus.

  Round and round the thoughts went in his head, but he could see no way to get away from Grizzly Hollows without putting the people there, and on the mountain, in danger. Not unless he approached Tad about taking up full responsibility again, and that would be unfair, because Viv needed him to be by her side.

  He got up and went to the kitchen, deciding he needed some coffee to try to revive himself. Maybe once the caffeine kicked in, he might be able to figure out exactly how he could get this to work out.

  Cleaning out the coffee pot, and then putting it on to make a fresh brew, helped him focus. If Tad was out of the question, he could ask his father, who was retired. Either that or he could call around to some of the other rangers and see if they could take over for a couple of days. Then he would drive to see Mae and try to work out how to get her to come back here with him. That was where another problem lay. It wasn’t just this first meeting that highlighted the difficulties ahead for them: if she had a life with her gran, she wasn’t going to simply drop it and come and live here in the quiet village of Grizzly Hollows, nestled in a mountain range that had snow on it for almost half the year.

  Did that mean he was about to enter a new stage of his life? One that would take him away from the place he had always lived. Would take him away from his job, the job he loved, and the people he loved?

  His bear stirred inside his head. They both knew the answer, of course they would. For their mate, they would be willing to give up everything, no matter what the personal cost. He had seen that in his brother’s eyes when they had rescued Viv from the snow only days ago.

  Pouring his coffee, he went to stand and look out of the window overlooking the mountains. He had lived every day looking at this view; he rarely took vacations, because he already lived in the best place in the world. He had no idea what it was like where Mae lived. Whatever it was like, however nice it was, it wouldn’t be here, it wouldn’t be like this.

  Yet as he stared at the peaks with the setting sun behind them, covering the snow in its pink glow, he knew that this scene, this mountain, would never be the same again. He knew where his mate was, and she called to him, as if they were connected by some invisible force.

  It was unexpected, how deep that connection ran, although he had seen the way Tad looked at his mate, and how his parents were together. He should have known what to expect.

  Finishing his coffee, he decided to make himself some dinner and then he would go to bed. When he woke up in the morning, he would begin to make some calls. Then he would find a way to go and see Mae, so that together, they could figure out exactly where their lives were headed and how they fit together. Everything he did, from now on, would be as part of a team, a partnership.

  Even though he had always been independent, he was willing to embrace this new phase of his life. Yet, as he climbed into bed, his heart ached. It was as if it was broken. One half longed for the mountain and freedom, and one half longed for his mate.

  He turned over and plumped the pillow under his head. This should be a time when he was happy, and yet he was already making obstacles, making problems for himself and Mae. As he closed his eyes he realized why. It was because the face of Rhys, frozen in the snow, still haunted him and everything he did.

  He wondered if, subconsciously, it wasn’t that he was afraid to leave the mountain, it was that he was afraid to stay, and Mae just might be the excuse he needed to leave.

  Chapter Five – Mae

  “Are you absolutely sure about this?” Mae asked, as she hauled her gran’s suitcase towards her car, which was all ready to take them to the beach. Only they weren’t going to the beach. A common consensus was that they would forgo their trip to the beach for a trip to the mountains instead. “What have you got in here?”

  “You said there would be snow, so I packed lots of layers,” her gran said with a smile. “And maybe a bottle or two of something else to ward off the chill. And you never know, I might find a nice old bear of my own to warm me up at night.”

  “Are you sure the others don’t mind?” Mae asked her Gran as she lifted the suitcase and put it in her trunk. The cold would not be very good for their poor old bones, she thought as she shut the trunk of her trustworthy car. She hoped it would handle the mountain roads if they were covered in snow and ice near Grizzly Hollows.

  “Not at all. Once I explained we were off on the hunt for a husband for you, they were more than happy to put their enjoyment aside for you, Mae.”

  Embarrassment crept over Mae’s face. “You told them we were going hunting for a husband for me?”

  “I couldn’t quite explain this mate business, could I? Anyway, they both understood. When you get to our age, you look back over your life, and realize the best times were when you had a husband, someone to love and cherish you.”

  Mae felt herself tearing up. “I only hope I can find that kind of happiness.”

  “You will, honey. After all, you have a head start: the man is already smitten with you before you’ve even met.”

  Mae grinned. “You’re right there. But it works both ways. I can’t wait to meet him.”

  “Then let’s get going,” Gran said as she climbed into the passenger seat of Mae’s car and put her seatbelt on. “Let’s go pick up the other girls.”

  It always made Mae smile when her gran and her friends called themselves girls. All of them were over sixty-five, with various ailments, which Mae knew about in minute detail, ranging from arthritis to bunions, but she had known them most of her life and they had supported her gran when she was suddenly forced to take on an orphaned grandchild, at an age when most people were looking forward to an empty nest and a new phase of freedom in their lives.

  ***

  “How much further?” Katie asked. They had been on the road for three hours; well, apart from two toilet stops, and a quick break for breakfast. They were making good time, and Mae expected them to reach Grizzly Hollows within the next hour, as long as the roads didn’t get much worse.

  “About another twenty miles, but the road climbs steeply when we turn off and head into the mountains, so I’m expecting it to be a slower journey.” As she spoke a turning, with a sign indicating Grizzly Hollows, appeared on the left, and her stomach erupted into a gurgling maelstrom of nerves.

  She flexed her hands on the steering wheel, and tried to get control of her breathing, which was beginning to feel as if a panic attack was heading her way. She hadn’t had one for years, although they had been a regular occurrence in the months after the loss of her parents. But then, meeting her mate was probably at the same level of stress as losing her parents. This was a life-changing moment; nothing would ever be the same again.

  In her mind, her bear shuffled forward and mentally rubbed her head against Mae in comfort and encouragement. Often, Mae had wondered how normal people survived on their own, without having this other side of themselves to help in times of need and give them encouragement. Mae only hoped that by coming to Grizzly Hollows and finding their mate, she would be able to give something back to the bear inside of her, who had always been her constant friend and companion. For so long, her bear had been like a captive inside of Mae, very rarely let out to run and be free. Only when they went for days out, or vacations into remote areas, did she take the risk of her bear been seen.

  “How are you feeling, Mae?” Gran asked, glancing at her sideways.

  “Like the first day of school. Only worse.” Mae eased the car forward as they climbed up a steep part of the road that twisted back on itself. “I’m not sure if it has to do with the road or meeting Jay.”

  “Both will work out just fine. Trust me, I know what you are capable of and I know what kind of person you are.”

  “That’s because I was raised by such a wonderful wom
an.” Mae felt familiar choke of tears in her throat. “What happens if he wants me to move here?”

  “Then you move.” There was sadness in her Gran’s eyes that spoke of the loss she would feel if Mae moved away. “As a parent and grandparent we all know that at some point, our children are going to fly the nest. Just as your mom did. I want you to know, that it’s not all sorrow, there’s also a sense of pride. Of knowing you raised a young person who has the confidence to strike out on their own path. And I couldn’t be more proud of you, Mae.”

  “Thanks, Gran.” Mae realized it had gone awfully quiet in the back of the car, and only when a hand snuck forward and touched Gran’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze, did she realized that the others were listening too.

  “You know how much we love you, Mae. But really, we can look after Isabelle for you,” Joan, a retired bank clerk, said. She had been Isabelle’s maid of honor when she had married Mae’s granddad. The two had seen each other through births, deaths, and anything else life could throw at them.

  “Yes. We are not too old to lead her astray,” Katie said. “We might even put our names on one of those dating sites. Silver and Single, that’s the one I’ve been looking at.” The others laughed at Katie, who chuckled to herself. Katie had never married; instead, she had dedicated her life to helping others. As a social worker, she had been responsible for checking in on Mae and her gran when Mae had first moved in and was hardly eating or talking. She had become a lifelong friend of the family.

  Mae felt this intense sense of loss. These women were her friends, the people she turned to when things went bad, or she needed advice. All of this was what she was going to trade for a man who might be her fate, but was also a stranger.

  “Let it happen.” Isabelle’s words pierced her thoughts. “Don’t fight it, or second-guess it. Let it happen. I know you’ll find the right path if you do. You always do.”

  “Thanks, Gran,” Mae said, and wondered how many times she had uttered those words over the years. All she knew was that she had meant them every single time.