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  “God, Jess, I had no idea.”

  She lifted her chin defiantly. “No? So you’re saying it was all coincidence?”

  “Yes. I swear.”

  “Well, I don’t believe you.”

  He came closer to her, but she raised her hand, asking him to stop.

  “Please, Jason. I think it would be better if you left. There's nothing you can say to me to persuade me you still don’t have ulterior motives. That night it was to have a laugh at my expense, tonight it’s because you want the wedding to go smoothly for Paul and Rachel. I understand why, but don’t trample my feelings to get what you want.”

  “So you’ve written me off, I’m beyond redemption?” He sounded hurt, but Jess steeled her heart. “Do I not even deserve the right to tell my side of the story?”

  “Jason, please, drop it.”

  His face clouded with anger, something she had never seen before, a wave of fear passed over her. He had a passionate side, and that passion had been roused.

  “I’d had a crap year, you must have heard about the fire in the Railand Apartments?”

  “Jason.” She wanted him to stop, not wanting to hear what he had to say. But he had the right to tell her his side of things. Yet if this shattered her image of him, if his side of the story made it all make sense, then what? She would be lost; her desire for him would become an inferno that would consume her.

  “Let me finish, please.” His voice allowed her no more argument, she sat down on the bed, and he came and sat beside her. Her need for him to touch her grew so intense, they were so close, but she sat quietly with her hands in her lap and let him continue.

  “It was a huge blaze; they called on everyone to try to get it under control. We managed to evacuate the building, but one of the residents said she thought a mother and baby were trapped inside. My chief asked for a volunteer to go in, and it ended up being me.”

  Jess hoped this wasn’t going to turn into some kind of story of how brave he was. However a quick glance at his face revealed the true horror of what was to come; she didn’t need to hear his words, but knew she had to let him tell her.

  “I suited up and went in, it was a third floor apartment, the fire had started on the fifth, and some debris had fallen down and blocked her escape. I managed to get in, by then the other crews were getting the fire under control. But it was too late.”

  He stopped to compose himself, and Jess stared at the lamp beside the bed. She had never really thought about what his job entailed, how he put himself through scenes like this on a regular basis, to save people and their property. It was not a job you went in to for the money, this was real life and death, and Jason had seen enough of death.

  Taking a long shuddering breath he continued. “They looked perfect, you know. A young mother cradling her baby. It was the smoke that killed them, the baby first of course. And all I could think of was how awful it must have been to spend your last moment on this earth holding onto your dead child.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jason. I had no idea.” She reached out and covered his hands with hers, feeling the warmth of his skin against the palm of her hand.

  “Why would you? I didn’t tell many people. Saw a counsellor of course, but they don’t understand, not really.” He took another shaky breath, and then made a full confession. “So I hit the bottle, slept with any woman who'd have me, just to try to blot it out. Then New Years, I decided to change, I didn’t want to live like that any more, didn’t want to be that person, it was like the old me had died that night. And when I looked at you, I realised that was what I had been running away from.”

  “Me? I still don’t understand.”

  “I always had a thing for you. Your smart, beautiful, kind and I thought you saw me for what I was inside, rather than my looks. I know why women fall for me.” He puffed his chest out and flexed the muscles in his arms. “There's nothing I can do about it, I have to stay in shape for my job, and you can’t blame me for the face I was born with.”

  Jess smiled, she liked his sense of humour, even in the face of sadness. Jess had to admit she was pleasantly surprised at his down to earth attitude. Throw in the fact that he had called her smart and beautiful, and he was her ideal man.

  His face grew serious again. “But since, the fire,” he hesitated, “I felt like I was worthless, that the only reason women would ever want me was because of the way I looked. But when I saw you that night I knew I had to change, try to be a better person.”

  “I had no idea. Surely you still don’t blame yourself for what happened? You tried your best.”

  “But it wasn’t good enough. So then I began to believe I wasn’t good enough for a wife and kids. What if I let them down? What if when they needed me most I wasn’t good enough?”

  “And when I turned you down, I confirmed those beliefs?” It hit her now, and she felt sick with regret. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s in the past. I’ve learned a lot lately about leaving things in the past. You can’t carry them with you all your life and not go crazy.”

  “So where do we go from here?” Jess asked.

  “That’s up to you.”

  “We could both admit we were wrong and apologise.”

  “That’s too easy for even my simple brain.”

  Chapter Two

  She gave him a warning look; he gave her a charming smile. Her heart squeezed in her chest, but she fought her longing for him. Inside her stomach churned, this was the closest she had been to him, but the more amicable they became the harder it was not to show her true colours and proposition him.

  As he looked at her with those soft brown eyes she wanted to lean towards him and fold herself into his strong arms. She could almost feel his presence pulling her towards him. Jess swayed a little, and the room suddenly felt too hot.

  “You're having one of your little turns again,” he said quietly.

  His words snapped her out of it.

  “No, I’m not. I’m tired, that's all. It’s time I got some sleep.” She tried to sound sure of her words, but knew they fell short.

  “Is that what you really want?” he asked smoothly.

  She couldn't answer, his hand was stroking her arm, and her insides had turned to jelly. This was real, the man she had dreamed about for so long was sitting next to her, wanting her in the same way she wanted him. For once in her life she had to stop doing what she thought she was meant to do, and go for it. Grab hold of the happiness that had eluded her for so long, and hold onto it with both hands.

  Turning to him she stroked the side of his face with her hand, she thought of asking him if this was for real. Then she changed her mind, and just kissed him. She realised that they could talk until the sun came up and she would never truly know what his motives were, or she could go with it.

  Drawing his face towards hers she was mesmerised by his lips. Her eyes fixed on them, unconsciously her tongue slipped out and motioned her lips, and then she kissed him. The fact that she instigated their first kiss gave her a feeling of hanging on to her control. She wasn’t giving everything away to him. Not yet.

  He groaned as their lips met, and his hand slid around the back of her neck and he held her close. Despite the size of his hands his touch was gentle, and where his fingers connected with her flesh they left their own brand of heat. As though electricity shot from the end of his fingertips, he ignited her longing for him. She leaned closer, wanting to wrap herself around him and never let go.

  At that moment she convinced herself to enjoy everything that passed between them this night, and only dare to hope that this wasn’t a one night stand. She hoped his desire for them to help plan Paul and Rachel’s wedding meant he would not play with her emotions.

  By the time his hand brushed against her breasts she didn’t even care about this.

  His lips pressed against hers, his tongue slipping into her mouth and tasting her. She knew she would taste of scotch, and the salty chips she had eaten earlier, he didn’t seem to care.
With a little more pressure he explored her mouth, his tongue meeting hers and finding she liked the feel of him. Her body tingled with the thrill of this intimate invasion, only when his fingers began to undo her buttons did she return to some form of reality, he was going to see her naked!

  In her mind she wanted to stop him, too embarrassed to let him see her naked, with the lights on. There was no way she could compare to any of the svelte women he usually dated. Panic rose in her throat, she would have to ask him to switch of the lights.

  Yet then she remembered what he had said about longing for her, a real woman with real emotions, not some good time girl. Well, if that was what he wanted, a real woman, then that was what she would show him. Better to find out now that she didn’t live up to his idea of the perfect woman, than two months down the road.

  The first button was open, he moved onto the next, his finger deftly opening it. To stop her panic taking hold she concentrated on how good a kisser he was, and the thought popped into her head of how many women he must have kissed to get this good.

  Instead of feeling troubled by the huge number it must be, she tried to be thankful. All those lips leading him here, here to make her body tingle from her head to her toe as he ran his tongue along the sensitive flesh of her inner lip.

  All her buttons were undone; he slid the fabric off her shoulders, and down her arms. In her heightened state it was like a caress across her skin. Her large breasts strained against her bra, wanting release, needing to be touched by his dexterous fingers, and they hardened involuntarily at the thought of his tongue rolling over them.

  He reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. She hardly breathed when his fingers brushed her skin; this was what she had dreamed about for so long. The number of nights she had gone to bed and used her fingers on her intimate flesh while imagining him doing all these things to her body were too numerous to count. Now those dreams had become her reality.

  Her bra was cast aside, allowing her generous breasts to burst forward. He broke their kiss and instead sat and looked at her pale globes, a look of satisfaction on his face.

  “I have spent many hours imagining what it would be like to undress you.”

  “You're not disappointed then?” she asked shyly.

  “Oh no. Definitely not.” He ran his finger along the underside of her breast, drawing it up towards her nipple, she gasped as he contacted with the sensitive flesh. “Why would I be disappointed? You are so beautiful.”

  She had no words, and closed her eyes as his mouth descended and he sucked her hardened peak into his mouth. He massaged the other breast with his hand, cupping it in his large palm, his work hardened skin chafing her skin.

  It seemed an eternity in which he worshipped her body, kissing, stroking, and then rolling her sensitive nipples between his fingers and thumb. She arched her back and offered them to him, his to do with as he pleased.

  Raising his head he looked squarely into her eyes. “I want you, Jess, I have wanted you for a long time.”

  She didn’t know what to say, this was like a dream coming true, but she struggled to accept it. If things went wrong between them it could ruin Paul and Rachel’s wedding. Could they be civil to each other if they broke up? She had no answer to that question.

  “Tell me this is real, promise me this won’t make things awkward between us,” she said.

  He stroked her cheek. “I know what I feel is real, but I won't make promises I can’t keep. Neither of us knows what's waiting down the road, my job shows me that everyday. Things happen, but I want us to take this chance, I need to know that not everything is bad, there are good things too. I’ve been hiding for years now; I want to get my life back on track, settle down and have kids.”

  Kids. She hadn't thought that far ahead, suddenly she felt rather stupid and self conscious sat here half naked. She moved to cover herself up, and was surprised to see such disappointment on his face.

  Reaching out to him she touched his face, feeling the stubble that had started to appear. He had been honest with her; could it really be worth throwing away their chance of happiness together just because it might make things difficult at the wedding?

  Jess made a decision; she wanted to take this risk. “Promise me one thing.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “If this doesn’t work out between us, we will be adults about it and not do anything to spoil Paul and Rachel’s wedding.”

  “That I can promise.” He sidled up beside her, so close his thighs pressed against hers. “Does that mean I can see the rest of you now?”

  “Oh, perhaps it would be better with the lights off.”

  “No. I want to look at every part of you, from your head to your toes and every perfect bit in between.”

  “Jason, please don’t tease me.”

  “Who said anything about teasing?”

  His lips found hers, and his hands found her breasts. He stroked her and soothed her until he had aroused her to the point where she didn’t care whether there were lights or not, all she wanted was for him to touch her.

  He pushed her back gently and she lay down on the bed, and then his hands got busy taking the rest of her clothes off. Jess wasn't sure how his capable hands worked so fast but before she knew it she was naked beside him, and his wandering hands were stroking her clit.

  He had to coax her to keep her thighs apart and allow him access to her intimate flesh, she wanted to curl up in a ball and hide. Yet the intense feelings his touch evoked in her made her stay open for him. When he was surer of her, he rubbed his finger along the length of her slit, sliding his finger inside her and feeling her heat.

  When he did the same again he slid a little deeper, and Jess felt the room start to spin. His mouth was still wonderfully warm and demanding on hers. His tongue began to slip in and out in a rhythm that mimicked the act of lovemaking. He was giving her a taste of what he would do to her when his wonderfully hard cock, which was pressed against her thigh, was inside her.

  It was then that Jess decided it was time to get a glimpse of his body. She had only ever admired him whilst he was fully clothed, and this gave such a hint of what treasure lay beneath that she wanted to see him naked.

  Beginning with his shirt she unbuttoned it, kissing his chest as she moved down. The hair on his chest tickled her lips in a most stimulating way, but not enough to make her distracted from the very important task of taking off his shirt.

  When all the buttons were undone she pushed it back off his shoulders and he wriggled out of it obligingly. She tipped her head back and took in the span of his chest, the well defined muscles and the hair that led down to a smattering above his pants, an invitation to find out what was hidden lower down.

  Jess accepted this invitation with relish; she would feel much more comfortable if they were both naked. Well that was what she thought until he helped her remove his pants. His cock sprang free from all restraints and she took in the size of him and suddenly felt like a schoolgirl in a “you show me yours, I’ll show you mine” kind of a way.

  Of all the men she had been intimate with, and admittedly there were not many, he was by far the most well endowed. His cock was thick and long, and Jess did not think there was any way it would fit inside her without splitting her in two.

  She now realised why he had so many women after him, he must have a reputation. A big reputation, she stifled a giggle, not wanting to break the moment. She knew it was just nerves, and she soon sobered when she thought of how many women he had slept with.

  There was no way she could live up to those standards, it wasn’t just her curvy body, it was her lack of experience, Jess was not a virgin, but her partners were very few in numbers. Would he be able to tell? Of course he would, the question was would he care.

  She touched him tentatively, and his cock swelled even more.

  “It won’t bite,” he whispered into her ear.

  “Jason, I’m not very experienced in...this.” That made her sound awfully naive
.

  “Don’t worry honey, I’ve had enough experience for both of us, and I can teach you everything I know. Of course I will demand hours of one to one tuition.”

  She burst out laughing, and her nerves evaporated. Bravely she gripped his thick length firmly, and moved her hand up and down, feeling him tense under her touch. For a moment she wondered if she was doing it wrong, but then he murmured words of encouragement.

  “That’s it honey, a little harder, oh that's good, you have great hands.”

  Encouraged by his words she gripped him tighter and slid her hand along the length of his beautiful cock. She hadn't realised how much she had been concentrating on what she was doing until he slid his hand along her thigh and drew it up towards her clit.

  Her hand stopped moving, and all she could think about was how much she wanted him to touch her there. He laughed and covered her hand with his, moving her hand up and down in a steady rhythm.

  “This is so much better if it’s a mutual thing,” he said.

  “Sorry,” she uttered.

  “Don’t be, I have been told many times how magical my hands are to a woman.”

  She knew by the humour in his voice that he was joking. This side of him surprised her more than anything else, even the length of his cock. Jess had always thought Jason took himself so seriously, but this man lying here on the bed, with his hands stroking her throbbing clit, was warm and modest.

  His fingers busied themselves rubbing her clit lightly, only increasing the pressure when he knew she could take it. Her sex was so wet and hot she needed to feel him inside her again, but he made her wait.

  With his hand still over hers he kept her to the same rhythm his fingers were moving to. Nice and slowly, nice and slowly. His thumb replaced his finger on her little bud, the same wonderful friction, she found herself spreading her thighs wider for him. It made it easier for him to slide along the length of her slit.

  His fingers smeared her juices over her outer lips, making slick noises as they moved. They glided smoothly over her flesh, and her orgasm built. He was right; his fingers were magical, especially when they pushed deep inside her in one slick movement.