Marianne : Unmarked (His) Page 6

  “Come on, Marianne. Surely you know what it is to feel love and desire for a man.”

  “No.” Briefly, she thought of the way Captain Stuart made her feel, yet she did not desire him in the same way she had heard other women speak of. She could not willingly give herself over to such pain because of the tremors that passed through her body when he was near. “Do you forget I was given to an old man on the chance I might conceive an heir for him before he died.”

  “It was the only thing we could think of. To get you far away from us so we could no longer quarrel over you. With you far away there would be no temptation for either of us to take you as a mistress.”

  A mistress. Marianne struggled to believe that they had even had a conversation about her, yet alone acted on it. If either of them had any genuine feelings for her they had kept them well hidden.

  “You never told me.”

  “No. We agreed it was best, that you would accept the decision to be married off to that old man much easier if you did not know the real reason.” He came to her and took her hand, holding it tightly in his own. “I can not tell you how much it hurt me to see you sent away. You mean so much to us both, Marianne.”

  She slid her hand out from between his. “But not enough to spare me the pain of becoming Lord Marsh's wife.”

  “Pain. Did he hurt you?”

  “Hurt me? I was barely a woman and you sent me away to be the wife of a man old enough to be my grand sire.”

  “We thought it was the best way to contain the damage that would be done if you stayed. I can not begin to make you understand the depth of feelings we both had for you.”

  “But those feelings did not run deep enough to put me above your jealousy for each other.”

  “I wish it could have been different, Marianne. I really do, but it was not the right time.”

  “And now, Darius. Is this the right time? I would like to know why you are telling me this now.”

  “Because I feel you have a right to know, so that you will not be so angry with Captain Stuart.”

  “Are you telling me I am being married off again for the sake of your friendship? Well I do not believe you, after all you said you had not been to Court for some time. Or did you come here to try to persuade the King to let me be your mistress now. By the spirits, Darius! When I came to your house on my journey here, you offered to marry me. What would you have done if I had agreed?”

  “I would have gone against the King's wishes and taken you as my wife, and kept you safe.”

  “It does not matter now, Lord Villiers. I am to be married to Captain Stuart, and then I will leave your life for ever.”

  He rose and came towards her. “Do not say that, Marianne. Even now, I would take you away from here. Say the word and we will leave together.”

  “No. I will marry Captain Stuart; he appears to be a good true man.” Her words carried their intention to Lord Villiers who looked ashamed.

  “He is indeed, all that and much more. Perhaps it is a good thing. He will fit in well at Marsh Hall.”

  “And you would never survive on the run from the King, you enjoy your fine wines and clothes much too much.” Marianne held back from telling him it would have made no difference anyway. She had never had feelings for him or the King other than that of friendship. The passion and love that Lord Villiers had spoken of was alien to her, she guessed it was part of the thing that was missing from her.

  “I wish you every happiness, Marianne. Now eat, and dress for your wedding. Make the world see how beautiful a woman such as you can truly be. Perhaps one day we will live in a time when to be different will not be so vilified.”

  “Perhaps, Darius.” She took his hand and shook it, as much in farewell as acceptance of his blessing. “Tell me one thing before you leave, do you know why I have been given to Captain Stuart? Surely the King could have left me at Marsh Hall and given the Captain a new Lordship?”

  “That I believe is perhaps my fault, in part. You know I have been estranged from the King for some time.” She nodded. “What you do not know is it is because when your official time of mourning was over I asked him to allow me to take you as my wife.”

  She paled; shocked that she could have been handed around like a casket of wine, to be used up until there was nothing left of her. Would she ever now have peace of mind, would she ever know the meaning of freedom when if anything happened to Captain Stuart she would still be at the mercy of these two men?

  “He said no, of course. There is no way he would ever give you up to me; he will never let me win. You know how he was when we were younger, always having to beat me. Well he has never changed.”

  “And if he had said yes, would you have asked me or told me to marry you?” The hard edge had returned to her voice.

  “I would have asked,” he said, “Of course I would have asked.”

  “But I would not have been able to say no.”

  His face held the understanding that her voice conveyed. “No. You would have not had the right to say no. I am sorry, Marianne. We have treated you badly. I see now you are better off out of our grasp.”

  “Will you do one thing for me, Darius?”

  “If I can.”

  “I wish to leave first thing tomorrow morning. Will you get the King to allow this? I want to go home, as soon as possible. In light of what you have said I think it would be best.”

  “Yes. I believe you are right. The last thing we need is for something to happen to your wolf.” Darius had let slip more than he should.

  “What has he done that gives such great reward. He is young to be given a Lordship. So the act must have been great.”

  Lord Villiers laughed. “It was great and brave indeed. But his actions have pleased the people but angered those in the court who would have profited from a long and bloody war.”

  “So it was to do with Grandeer.”

  “Oh, yes. However, I can tell you little else. It appears the King decided to kill two birds with one stone.” He saw Marianne's face pale again. “No, my dear, not literally. In marrying you to the Captain, he puts you out of my grasp. Moreover, he has also managed to send Captain Stuart far away from Court. If anything befalls him the wolves will want blood, so he is to be put out of mind from those that wish him ill.”

  “I see. Thank you, Darius. I wish you well, and I hope you can do as I ask.” She did not add, it is the least you can do, but the inflection was there in her voice.

  “Goodbye, Marianne. I hope Captain Stuart makes you a good husband. Far better than I or His Majesty ever could have.”

  “In that I believe you speak the truth.”

  He left, and Marianne absently ate her food while thinking on what had passed. She was a pawn in all of this, as it appears Captain Stuart was too. As her thoughts turned to her soon to be husband, she felt the strange feelings for him surface again. She pulled them out and examined them, and for the first time understood that this must be what Lord Villiers spoke of, desire.

  Yet she could not accept a desire for something that would cause her pain at its fulfilment, and so she quashed it, and tried to think of home instead. She longed to be flying up the meadow on Storm, with all this behind her. All she hoped now was that Lord Villiers would hold true to his promise, and persuade the King to let them go, all she had to do was persuade Captain Stuart to leave.

  It was now her thoughts returned to Captain Stuart and she tried to make some sense of what was happening. How much he knew remained a mystery to her, and how he would treat her once they were away from the Palace also plagued her mind. Yet his character seemed true, and if Lord Villiers was right then he had done many men a great service.

  Her maid came, smiling happily and humming as she looked at the wedding dress hung up ready for Marianne to put on.

  “How was your evening, Dawn?” Marianne asked, picking up on the young woman's mood.

  “Very good, My Lady.” She hummed, spreading the gown out, and looking at the small train that
would drape down behind Marianne. “We should get this on you so that I can see if there are any alterations that need doing.”

  “I suppose,” Marianne said, lacking any enthusiasm, this dress might as well be a prisoner's uniform.

  “Oh, My Lady, you must be excited to be marrying such a man as Captain Stuart. There are many ladies in the Palace who would gladly swap places with you from what I have heard.”

  “I can imagine, but they are not being forced into it like I am.”

  “No, but still you could do a lot worse.”

  “Thank you Dawn, I know you are right, but I would be quite happy to live my life alone at Marsh Hall.”

  “But that is such a waste, we all worry about you and the solitary life you lead. It’s not right in a woman of your age.”

  “And do you believe having a wolf at Marsh Hall will be a good thing?”

  “A wolf like Captain Stuart, certainly. The other lady's maids say he is a war hero no less.”

  “So I understand. Do any of the maids know exactly what he did to be such a hero?”

  “Only that he risked his life to get a treaty with Grandeer, and there is rumour that there was a scandal with the King's niece that he dealt with.” Dawn lowered her voice. “I hear she would have been tried for treason, but it is all so secret.”

  She went back to gathering the dress up to slide over Marianne's head, admiring the silk fabric. “This must have cost a fortune. You are very lucky My Lady.”

  Marianne allowed the dress to slide down her body, it fitted almost perfectly, only needing to be brought in slightly on her hips. She dare not look at herself in the mirror; she was scared of the image that would look back at her, because now she felt quite ill again and fought to keep her food down. If she were sick on this white dress, it would never come out.

  Marianne smoothed her hands over the silk, admiring the beading and stitching, mentally agreeing with Dawn over the cost of such a dress, and wanting to question Lord Villiers as to where it had come from. Her worry was that he had paid for it to be made while he petitioned the King for her hand in marriage. Perhaps even keeping it until now, in the hope his wish might one day be granted.

  If this was true she would feel uncomfortable walking down the aisle in it, so she chose to imagine it was Helena's, perhaps for her marriage to the man she had given her heart to. Marianne sighed, feeling sad that both the Villiers's children had chosen to give their hearts to such unsuitable candidates.

  Dawn worked quickly, pinning the dress until it fitted like a glove, and then helping Marianne take it off. She then sat silently working, her fingers seeming to fly over the fabric until her work was done. Marianne sat and watched her; strangely lulled by the way Dawn worked.

  “So are you going to tell me any more about your evening?” Marianne asked when the dress was nearly finished.

  Her maid blushed, but her fingers never faltered in their work. “There’s not too much to tell, but James professed an attraction that I must say I’ve been hoping for some months.”

  “I had no idea you liked him?” Marianne did not understand the attraction Dawn would have for James.

  “Yes, he is everything I could ask for in a mate.”

  Marianne was curious. “Is it...something to do with his Mark?”

  Dawn looked at Marianne strangely. “I have never considered what it would be like to be other wise; do you not feel the same attraction to a man?”

  Marianne blushed now; she never exposed herself to this kind of scrutiny usually, preferring to never bring up her true nature. “I do not think I have ever been attracted to a man.” she admitted.

  “But my Lady, what about when you were bedded by the old Lord?”

  Marianne wished this conversation had never started, but now that it had, she felt compelled to find some answers, any explanation that might make tonight easier. “No.”

  Dawn thought for a moment. “I suppose I can understand it, he was old, was he not?”

  Marianne nodded, “Yes, old enough to be my grand sire.”

  “Oh My Lady, Mrs Draper always said it was a cruel match, but I had not realised how cruel.”

  Dawn had only joined the servants two years ago, and so had not known the old Lord of Marsh Hall. It surprised Marianne to find that Mrs Draper had discussed her behind her back.

  “What did Mrs Draper say?”

  “Nothing out of turn, it was only one day when one of the maids said you should be out at balls and such like. Mrs Draper told her to stop gossiping, and that you needed time to grieve, she said that you truly mourned the Old Lord, although it had been a cruel match.”

  “She was right, he was like a father to me, he cared for me in his own way, and I for him. But I did not please him...” Marianne stopped short, suddenly aware that she had said too much.

  “But what about Captain Stuart? A fine man like that should be a good match.”

  “To any other woman, but I think I am different. Well, I know I am different, I simply did not know how different.”

  Dawn had finished her sewing and she stood up. “Done. Let us dress you properly and see that the dress is right. I hope my sewing will stand the scrutiny of such well to do men and women as will no doubt be present.”

  Marianne dutifully got up, understanding that their conversation had gone maybe too far. Dawn was not Mrs Draper, and as such, she could not ask, or tell her all that she needed to.

  “There, I think you look perfect. If you sit I can start on your hair.” Dawn said, standing back to get the full view of Marianne in the white wedding gown that now fitted her like a glove.

  Feeling confined by the tight bodice, Marianne moved to sit before the mirror, glad that the reflection was not perfect, this way she did not have to face herself. Her worries were hidden while Dawn worked her hair into long ringlets, and some how managed to tame them so they stayed in place.

  For a woman not trained to be a lady's maid she did a fantastic job, and with plenty of time to spare Marianne found herself ready for the wedding, at least in looks. Inside, her stomach churned, she hated everything about today, including the mass of people that would fill the great hall to watch the hand fasting.

  Chapter Seven

  A half hour before the wedding was due to start there was a knock at the door and a young page directed Marianne to go down to wait in an anti chamber. She did as he told her, her mind giving way to a numbness that blocked out most of what was going on around her. In a haze she was given instruction by the priest, even though she wanted to tell him she already knew what to do because she had survived the ordeal of marriage once before.

  “Marianne.” Lord Villiers’s voice was the only thing to break through her mental walls.

  She looked up at him, perhaps a little too eagerly; he lowered his gaze from hers. Had he thought she was looking to him for escape?

  “Lord Villiers, I thought you would be seated by the King.” She purposely kept her voice calm and level.

  “No. He has given me permission to accompany you down the aisle.” His words betrayed his mixed emotions.

  “You are to give me away?” Marianne asked surprised.

  He laughed, full of contempt. “Yes, I believe he thinks it will be a symbolic reminder that you will never be mine.”

  “Oh, Darius. What a mess. I am sorry if this grieves you,” Marianne said, placing her hand on his arm.

  He started at her touch, looking at the place where their bodies touched. In a sudden movement, he grasped her hand and placed it to his lips.

  “Marianne. I wish I was made of stronger stuff, I would take you from here in a flash,” he said. For the first time since Marianne had known him he sounded close to losing control.

  “But you are not,” she said, gently pulling away from him. “And I will marry Captain Stuart, and leave here tomorrow.”

  Her words were as much a question as a statement. Lord Villiers took her meaning and slid his hand into his dress coat, pulling out a folded piece of pa
per, the same as that which had commanded her to come here only a few short days ago. It had the royal seal on it, and she did not need to ask what it was.

  Taking it from him, she tucked it into her dress, making sure it was secure in the seam. “Thank you, Darius.”

  Her heart seemed lighter. She would leave tomorrow with her new husband, and be back at Marsh Hall in a few days. Deep down Marianne knew that the choice between Lord Villiers and Captain Stuart was an easy one.

  She felt nothing for Darius over friendship, and that would be an unfair trade for him to give up everything to be with her. Her feelings for Captain Stuart were less clear, but deep inside she longed to explore them, despite her fear.

  “It is time,” an elderly official said, poking his head around the door, and then retreating back out to give them a last minute of privacy.

  “Come Marianne, I know this is an ordeal for each of us in our own way. Lets us take strength from each other and get through this.” He held out his hand and she accepted it. Then he kissed her on both cheeks. “May the Spirits bless you with a happy marriage.”

  She doubted that would be the outcome of this day, but she thanked him all the same. “And may you find the one who will capture your heart and soul.”

  He smiled at her formal blessing, and she knew what he was thinking. Yet she also knew he was fooling himself if he thought that someone was her.

  Lord Villiers straightened the train of her dress. “This suits you perfectly,” he said wistfully.

  Marianne had no opportunity to ask him where it had come from, or for whom it had been intended. The doors opened and they were faced with a hall full of people, all wearing their finest clothes and waiting for the proceedings to begin. Their voices quietened and then were silent as they all turned to watch the bride make her way down towards where her groom stood waiting, dressed in his military uniform and looking every inch the hero.

  Her breath caught in her throat, and she thought it must be nerves; however, she had the briefest glimmer of a primal beast somewhere deep inside her that wanted to break free and throw itself at him.

  The image made her smooth walk up the aisle falter, her composure slipped for a moment before Lord Villiers took charge and guided her forward. She heard a murmur pass through the crowd, but she kept her nerve and walked on, one foot in front of the other until she stood by her Captain's side.