Bear Humbug! Read online

  She sighed. Would she ever be able to convince Jason to give her a chance to be his guardian? And could she ever learn to embrace parenthood? She doubted it. Becoming the sole guardian of Jason had given her more insecurities than she knew how to deal with.

  She constantly worried she was not good enough. Jason’s behaviour only compounded that belief. She tried to put a brave face on, especially in front of Jason, but slowly she felt her whole life slipping away out of control.

  “Maria?” Declan said, coming back into the room. “Are you OK?”

  An expert at hiding her tension, she smiled, trying to look serene and in control. Because if he thought she wasn’t in control he might tell social services and they might decide she wasn’t fit to be Jason’s guardian. It didn’t exactly say much for her parenting skills, losing her nephew just before Christmas. Would it look like he was miserable with her, would he tell them he would rather live in foster care?

  This wasn’t helping anyone. Maria pushed down her insecurities and said, “I’m fine. I am just so worried about Jason.” She stood up. “Are we ready to go?”

  “I have to get some stuff from the garage, and you have to put these on.” He handed her some warm clothes.

  “Thanks,” she said taking them from him. She sat down on the sofa, and removed her boots, thinking how glad she was that she had bought them before the snow came. She also removed her jacket, and looked at the layers of clothes he had given her.

  “The under layer should go on first,” he said, watching her closely.

  “You want me to strip here?” she asked.

  “Yes.” His voice sounded hungry, his eyes mentally undressing her. Then he snapped awake. “Sorry. Use my bedroom. The under layer goes on first, it fits tightly against your skin. Then the fleece base layer, then the other sweaters. Lastly I’ll give you a jacket to wear.”

  “I hate putting you to so much trouble.”

  “It’s no trouble,” he answered, smiling so that she knew he would move heaven and earth for her. Damn, she was a romantic fool. He was the sheriff and he was simply helping one of his townsfolk find a missing boy. Nothing more.

  Nothing more.

  She clutched the clothes to her chest and scuttled off out of the room, her mind filled with images of herself doing a striptease in front of him. For a woman who was insecure in her own skin, those thoughts confused her. Why did he make her feel alive and confident? Because she knew she was safe with him: he could have any woman he wanted, so he would never want a curvy woman with a little too much weight on her hips and an even bigger amount of emotional baggage. No matter how much she threw herself at him.

  He had single-handedly chased her usual nerves away, replacing them with a different nervous tension, one that revolved around her naked in his bed. The same bed she laid the warm clothes on, and as she took off her sweater and her T-shirt, she imagined his hands on her body, stroking her skin.

  Quickly, trying to stop her imagination before it went too far, she put on the layers just as he had told her. They were a little roomy, but they smelt deliciously of him. Closing her eyes, she could imagine him hugging her, his strong arms around her, his lips on her neck.

  “Maria? How’s it going?” His voice outside the bedroom door made her jump, and she hoped he wasn’t a mind reader, because her imagination had strayed into the erotic.

  “I’m ready,” she said, pulling the door open, feeling rather too wrapped up in the mountain of clothes he had given her.

  “Great. You’ll be thankful for them. Let’s get going. It’s a long climb. We’ll have to stop halfway and rest, then continue on at first light.” He began moving towards the front door, backpack slung over his shoulder.

  “We can’t keep going through the night?” she asked, following him out.

  “No. The first part of the climb is relatively easy. Although even then we are going to be tied together so I don’t lose you in the snow. But the last part is steep and we need some light. Although if this storm carries on, we may find the last climb impossible.”

  “Could you go a lot faster alone?” she asked, for the first time wondering if he had been right to say he would go without her. “I don’t want to slow you down.”

  “Look. If it comes to it, you’ll have to wait at the place we camp. I will have to stop there anyway. It’s too dangerous in the dark. In the morning, if it’s safe, you can come all the way to the caves. That’s the best I can promise.”

  “Thank you,” she said, and then they left his wonderful, warm house and went out into the snow.

  The cold took her breath away. After his nice, warm cabin, this was a slap in the face. The snow was coming down harder, big soft flakes clinging to everything. Declan grabbed hold of her hand and led her to the truck. With almost a sixth sense, his footsteps were confident, unwavering, despite the low visibility.

  “It will be easier when we get higher; the first part of the trail will be difficult and then we climb through the forest. Once we’re under the trees, apart from the odd big snowdrift, we will be sheltered,” he said, his voice absorbed by the snow.

  “Great,” was all she could muster as he opened the truck door and helped her in. When he slammed it shut, she had never been more grateful to be out of the elements. What the hell was she letting herself in for?

  “Ready?” he asked one last time after he had put all the gear in the back of the truck and then climbed in beside her. This was it. She could see it in his face: it was the last chance for her to get out and tell him to go ahead on his own. But she couldn’t ask him to go alone.

  “Absolutely.”

  “Then let’s get moving. It’s going to be a slow ascent. The truck will manage if we take it easy.” The engine rumbled comfortingly; this was a big truck, made for rough terrain. When she snuck a look at the confident face of Declan, she knew that she was in safe hands, both man and vehicle capable of what lay before them. Maria only hoped she was not going to be the one to let them down.

  Declan pulled away. The snow hitting the windscreen seemed to have slacked off some, but visibility was still poor, and the track had so much snow on it, she struggled to see where the edges were. Declan had no such trouble, and he steered the truck effortlessly along it and then out onto the road.

  “You know,” he said, breaking the silence, “this is not how my Christmas usually goes.”

  “It’s not? You mean you don’t spend Christmas Eve on a mountain every year?” Maria asked, looking at him rather than the road, which was nonexistent to her eyes.

  “Nope. I mean I have been on the mountain at Christmas, as a kid. My brothers and I used to love it up there in the snow. But usually I work. We all do.”

  “Why? Don’t you like Christmas?” she asked, her eyes slanting back to the road. Thinking about how far up the mountain they were driving and worrying about the drop on the other side. Was it sheer? Would they die a horrible death if the truck lost its grip?

  He noticed the way she tensed—he could probably even see the fear in her eyes—and said, “Don’t worry. The snow chains will hold.”

  “I didn’t know you installed them.” She tried to relax her grip on the door. Like that would save her if the truck went over the side and plummeted down into the valley below.

  “They were already on. I saw the forecast and no self-respecting sheriff goes out without them, not when the weather is closing in. But there isn’t too much to worry about, the drop here is only twenty feet.”

  Only twenty feet? Reassuring. That was like a chasm to Maria right now. “Anyway, you were saying? About Christmas.” She took a deep breath in and then let it out through her mouth, trying to be discreet so that he didn’t see what a wimp she was.

  “It’s a family time of year. Neither me nor my brothers are married, no kids, and so we work. Makes sense that those with families spend it with their loved ones.”

  “That’s sweet.” He wasn’t married, had no attachments. Why did that make her go warm and fuzzy
inside? It didn’t matter, as long as it chased away the feelings of unease that were spiralling out of control in her stomach. That was one thing Declan did so well. He chased away her fears. He was like a comfort blanket, and she wished she could wrap herself up in his big, strong arms and feel eternally safe.

  Chapter Seven – Declan

  Did he make her nervous? He hoped if he did, it was in a good way. However, he thought her anxiety was more connected to the conditions outside.

  “Where do you come from, Maria? Before you moved back to take care of Jason, where did you live?”

  “A city along the coast. I work in advertising. Not selling, but creating commercials. The kind you see on TV. I love it. I can shut myself away, and then hand over the concept to someone else to pitch. I’m not good in front of people.”

  “Why not?” he asked. She was such a beautiful woman, all curvy figure, blonde hair that curled softly around her face, and blue eyes that pierced his heart.

  “I never was, even as a child. Yvonne was the confident one. She took the lead in everything. I guess it’s because she was so much older than me. There was a big age difference. Whereas I am happy to stay in my small comfort zone. I guess it’s why I preferred the city; no one really sees you. You can blend into the background. I like being invisible.” She laughed, trying to make light of it. “Here in Bear Bluff, every time I leave the house I feel as if everyone is looking at me.”

  “I have to admire you, Maria. If that’s how you feel, it took some guts to uproot and come to Bear Bluff. But people here just want to help. If you let them.” He kept his gaze on the road. The truck was bumping along the last hundred feet of trail. When they reached the end, they would have to get out into the freezing temperatures of the mountain. He turned the heater down to begin what would be a sharp acclimatisation to the wind chill.

  “There was never a choice. But yeah, it was tough. Bear Bluff is a small town; it’s hard to go by unnoticed.”

  I never noticed you. He couldn’t understand how they had lived in the same town for months and not met. “You haven’t had any trouble with the townsfolk, though, have you?”

  “No. Not at all,” she said and then sighed. “In all honesty, though, I hide myself away as much as I can. My company have allowed me to telecommute. I still get the paycheck and they still get my expertise. I’m a bit of a hermit.”

  “That explains it,” he said, taking a breath of her scent, storing it in his memory. Soon they would be out in the elements and the wind would whip her delicious scent away from him. He wanted to inhale enough so it would linger on his tongue and in his mind.

  “Explains what?” she asked, unaware of the effect she had on him.

  “Explains why I have never seen you around Bear Bluff. Because if I had, I would have known.” His bear would have known for sure.

  “Oh, I don’t know. As I said, I’m good at being invisible,” she said and gave a small nervous laugh.

  “No, Maria. I would have known. I promise you.” He wanted to add that now he knew who she was, he would always be there for her, always be aware of her. But those were the kind of words that could scare a woman away. Especially one who had no idea about bears.

  She looked out of the window, chewing her lip. Had he frightened her, made her wary of him? Then she turned back to him and said, “That’s what Yvonne told me her husband used to say to her. That they had this special bond.”

  “It’s a bear … bluff thing,” he said, chickening out at the last moment and keeping the secret of his other side to himself. Soon she would have to know.

  He guessed Jason was hitting puberty, and with that came a change that his dad would have helped him through.

  Instead, the poor kid had an aunt who would do whatever she could for him, even give up her old life to be there for him. But she could not understand this primal beast that was awakening in him.

  Chapter Eight – Maria

  It was cold. After the relative warmth of the truck, the biting wind that hit her took her breath away. If she had second thoughts, she didn’t allow herself to dwell on them. When she’d got in the truck to come here, she had committed to this. If she backed out now, Declan would have to take her back down the mountain. And that would waste too much time.

  So she reminded herself of how cold and scared Jason would be out here, and the need to find him became so strong, she dragged her gloves on and began to help Declan unload the gear, making herself fit into the mould of the kind of person she needed to be.

  Once more, because of her love for her nephew, she was stepping up to shoulder more responsibility. Her mind went back to when Declan said he was proud of her for doing what she had done, giving up her old life. Now she began to feel proud of herself. She wasn’t hiding back in town waiting for someone else to rescue Jason; she was here in the freezing cold, about to climb a mountain.

  A feeling not unlike vertigo assailed her senses. An old familiar friend, fear, was knocking on the door, wanting entry to her brain.

  “You sure you’re OK?” Declan shouted over the wind that blasted another dose of snow over them. It was blowing hard and drifting along the side of the truck already.

  “Yes,” she shouted back, giving him a thumbs-up.

  “We need to get onto the trail as quickly as possible. It’s more sheltered, and when it goes into the trees we won’t have to fight the wind either.”

  “OK,” she said, shouldering a pack. It nearly brought her to her knees. Declan was used to packing these things for his brothers, and if they were anything like him, those brothers had wide shoulders. Hoisting it up further, she let her legs adjust to the weight. She could do this.

  “You OK with that?” he asked.

  “Yes. Let’s go.” She took a step away from him, but he caught her sleeve.

  “Wait. We need to be tied together. I don’t want to lose you.” A hidden meaning in his voice made heat pool between her thighs. The sensation slowly spread throughout her body. If the cold wind had made her breathless, this was like being punched in the gut, leaving her gasping for air.

  She lifted her arms and he circled the rope around her before tying it in a secure knot; then he took the other end and coiled it around his wrist, leaving her feeling like a dog on a leash. It seemed he figured that if anyone were going to get lost in the snow, it would be her. He was probably right. She had never felt more like a city girl than when they took those first few steps through the snow.

  Visibility was so low that if the rope wasn't between them she would have thought she was alone. A scary thought, when the wind was trying to knock her off course with every step and the snow left the ground so featureless she could have been walking around in circles and never know it.

  No, that wasn’t true: she was aware of him, even if she could only see him as a faint ghost in front of her. It was this wraithlike apparition she followed. One foot in front of the other, head down, breathing hard as they made their way along a trail that meandered up a gentle incline.

  This isn’t too bad, she thought, and then he turned, switching back on themselves and the true monumental task threw itself at her, just as a heavy snow shower hit her in the face.

  For a moment, she couldn’t breathe, panic hitting her square in the chest, and then his voice came to her. “You can do it, Maria. Just take a breath, and then follow me. I can take the strain.”

  What did he mean by that? And then, as he began to climb, she understood the other meaning of the rope: he was helping her, not only to follow him, but also to climb. At times, she had to scramble to keep her feet under her, but he pulled her up towards her goal. Each step taking her closer to finding her nephew.

  Breathe. Breathe. It was her mantra. All she concentrated on was one foot at a time. Lift, place it down, try to get a firm footing, and then transfer her weight forward to bring the next foot up. A steady rhythm, her concentration centered on one thing, walking. She tried to block out all other thoughts, although Declan kept creeping back
in, his nearness making her nerves sing. Or was it just the freezing cold hitting her face?

  Just when she thought she was too tired to go on, too weary to take another step, he turned once more and a line of trees appeared through the snow. He hurried forward, as though their finish line was in sight. She felt the surge of power and tried to match it. Those trees were their temporary sanctuary. They needed to get there.

  When they did, the relief was almost too much. The snow no longer hit her in the face, her breathing no longer felt as though shards of ice were puncturing her lungs. The trees offered them shelter and a small reprieve.

  Declan still didn’t stop. Pulling her forward, he made sure they were well under the cover of the trees before he rested. Leaning against a tree, he pulled the rope towards him, with Maria on the end like a fisherman reeling in his live catch. And she went to him, shocked but intensely happy when he pulled her right to him and then wrapped his arms around her. He chafed her arms, and she felt the warmth surge through her.

  “Are you OK?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she answered breathlessly. “I am glad we reached the trees. I don’t know if I could have stood it much longer out there.”

  “I’d like to tell you the worst is over with, but I would be lying. And that is one thing I will never do to you, Maria.”

  Why did she feel the implication of his words went so much deeper than their superficial meaning? It was as though he reached into her heart and reassured her he would always be good, always be true. Maria had to remind herself that he wasn’t hers, that the promise was probably just a small-town sheriff telling a poor feeble woman that he was good at what he did. Whatever the meaning, he comforted her. Especially with his warm, hard body.